By a foot

Update on Austyn:

Austyn seems to be having a slow recovery, either that or there is something else wrong. Again, there doesn't seem to be anything outwardly wrong with his foot or leg. He has a couple of light bruises that came up around his shin bone and his foot is a little bit swollen. He still isn't walking on his foot. He complains of the pain almost constantly. He wakes up in the middle of the night crying about the pain. But I am hoping today we have turned a corner. (**I hope.) We got shoes on his feet today! Yay! Because before if we touched his foot with even the lightest touch he would cry in pain. He stood on his foot for a second and he seems to be a little bit more mobile (crawling around the house). We went to church and he wasn't whining the whole time! So today was pretty good for him. However I keep thinking if I should be doing something more.

Yesterday we wrapped his foot with a ace wrap to see if that would help give him extra support. But one of the times he woke up crying in the middle of the night last night I took it off. Thinking maybe it was too tight and he needed the break. Since he has been a little better today I haven't put it back on. We have done the ice and elevate thing but it doesn't seem like it is doing much. The doctor recommended ibuprofen because the anti-inflammatory part of the medicine would help with the injury. However, because he was in so much pain we started giving him Tylenol in between doses. He hates getting the Tylenol and screams as much from the medicine as he does from the pain. Plus it just doesn't seem like it helped his pain that much. By yesterday afternoon it just didn't seem worth it.

Currently he is getting a much needed nap.  He got his ibuprofen at 11.  He fell asleep on our way home from church so he didn't get lunch.  So by the time he wakes up he will probably be hungry and in pain.  The urgent care doctor said that when the Radiologist comes in on Monday they will let me know if they see something broken that he didn't see.  Also the doctor said that if he isn't walking on it by Tuesday we should take him back.  I think I might just take him into seeing his Pediatrician anyways.  I mean if you or I had sprained our ankle that bad we would have gotten pain medication, some kind of foot support, and crutches, right?

I know I have a lot more years of little boy tumbling owies, especially with the track record my husband had as a boy.  However it's all feeling a little bit overwhelming.  Plus Penelope is having some difficulties at school (more on that in a separate post coming soon). There are some changes coming to our house in other aspects.  I just feel spent, you know?  It's the stress level I guess.  I know I need to relax.  Just do what I can.  Try not to worry about it.  Give it to God.  But it just doesn't seem plausible at this time.  I'm worried about my kids.   Worried that I'm some how messing up but not knowing how to change it.

Pray for Austyn, Penelope, and Russ & I.  Pray that God will take control of the situations that are surrounding us.  It is only through Him that makes things better. 

New Update:  Austyn woke up happy, crawling around the house.  Still not walking but not crying is a significant improvement.  Doing my woman's bible study homework I read: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7.  I have read this scripture many times but have always viewed it as a promise from God.  But it is two sided.  And God tells me what is required of me:  Prayer, Petition, and Thanksgiving.  These things I need to do to get that oneness of God that brings me peace.  I love that: Prayer, Petition, and Thanksgiving. 

 

Baby Jesus and Santa

Okay, I'm gonna start at the beginning....

Russell was raised in a loving Christian home. His parents decided early on no Santa, no Easter bunny, nothing. I was raised in a loving home but not in the church. My parents told us the whole Santa thing, until we found out on our own. They would have gifts from "Santa" (interestingly enough in my mother's hand writing).  Russell's brother and his family decided to continue the tradition, no Santa.  I remember learning about this when Russell and I were dating.  It didn't go over well with me the first time.  Hey, my favorite movie is "Miracle on 34th St".  Anyways, Russell and I did talk about it before we got married and we both agreed that we were ok with Santa.  Also because it would help include my family more.  In addition, as I saw Russell's brothers children grew up each one of the kids while entering public school struggled a lot with Santa.  At moments they would believe, because it was pushed so much at school.  But the struggle at home where it was reinforced that it's not real.  The look on the mom's face.  The look on the kids face.

So that brings me to how we did our kids.  I was okay with my kids knowing about Santa.  Like I said it was a way of tying in my family with the holiday.  But I always wanted Santa to be the runner-up.  I wanted Jesus to be the reason for the season.  I wanted Jesus to be more real to them than Santa is.  So we have decided to do some things and not to do others.  To have lots of talks.  To answer questions slightly differently.  But we still have fun with Santa.  But that brings us to now.  My daughter entered Kindergarten.  Wow, there is a lot of Santa push.  You would think some over zealous, doesn't have enough to do person (almost said lawyer, but I'll play nice) would claim separation of church and state.  After all, Santa is still celebrating Christmas.

Also, one of our normal family functions, "Back to Bethlehem":  Where a whole church changes their land into the city of Bethlehem.  There are people dressed the part walking around.  Everyone is in uniform.  Roman soldiers will yell at you if you look at them wrong.  Jewish teachers are in the corner teaching from the Torah.   And there is Joseph, Mary, and a real life baby in a barn that you can go see.  I loved taking the kids there, however; I am having a hard time finding one around.  There is one where we live but it is happening when we are going to be out of town.  When we go visit family they already ended.  Unless anyone knows of one?  Please.  That was my way of making Jesus more real.  Seeing Jesus' birth,  walking through Bethlehem. 

It's harder for Russell too.  He is having a hard time answering Penelope's questions about Santa.  I like to answer things like,  "Well, honey, he is as real as you want him to be."  Or something like that.  And at the end I always ask her, "What are we really celebrating?" and Penelope knows to answer "Jesus' birthday". 

Plus now that she is getting older there are some things that she can do now....write a letter to santa, sit on Santa's lap (we did these for the first time this year).  I was thinking about doing 'The Elf on the Shelf'.  For people who don't know.  It's a book and a toy elf.  You read the book, which has something to say about this elf that is really real and is going to sit up on a shelf and watches to make sure the kid is good or bad to tell Santa.  The parent without the kids knowing moves the elf occasionally so the kid really thinks that maybe it is real.  I told a friend about it.  Said I was thinking about it because I wanted the extra assistance/ leverage in having proper behavior.  She said it reminder her a lot about idols in foreign lands.  An inanimate object that is "real" and can pass "judgment" on you.  My response was, "Say no more.  Not gonna do that.  Don't want to miss with that".  I'm not condemning you for doing it.  I just couldn't after making that connection.  (That friend also does no Santa with her kids). 

We don't do presents from Santa.  We haven't yet done cookies and milk for Santa.  Never left a carrot for the reindeer.  Presents use to sit under the Christmas tree as I bought and wrapped them until the kids started getting into them.  Now they only come out right before hand.  I like the cartoon character of Santa.  I like the make-believe-ness.  Encouraging him being real, as much as Mickey Mouse is while you are at Disneyland (Hey, we are really big Disney fans.)  And somehow it has slipped away from that.  Is it a phase that I cannot completely control?  Is there a different direction I should be going in?  I'm not about to tell my daughter, "Sorry honey.  But really, Santa isn't real.  It's just a fake story."

FYI I'm not looking forward to Christmas with the older cousins who know very well there is no Santa and my daughter enthralled with him right now. 

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24

Russ said Austyn had a hard day today. He was crying and crying over every little thing. In talking it over, we can't put our thumb on what it was exactly. But oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Today I have been thinking a lot about God's ordinance. He has so provided and been our authority in our life. It seems sometimes that He has destined our steps. He knew exactly what we needed, exactly where we were going. I know I still have quite a road to travel ahead of me, but there are some days where I am so sure that God is the one driving us there. Of course, there are other days when I sit down and think that it is all going to come crashing down around me. My father-in-law mentioned a scripture to me once and I have committed to memory in Beth Moore's scripture memory. (Memorizing 2 scriptures a month on the 1st and 15th of the month). In Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but God directs our steps" (NLT). He later explained that he looks at it with us still actively planning our lives, but bringing everything to God. We can still make plans for our lives. And to not just sit around and wait for something to land in our lap. But God comes as we make our plans and determines the steps. Opening doors or closing, telling us where to turn or to go straight, and with that we go with God where he leads us. I like how there is a difference in explanation of actions between us and God in the scripture. There is a difference between us making plans and God doing steps. The plans don't actually count for anything. Anyone knows, you can make plans for the rest of your life and that doesn't mean that anything really happens. It takes steps, steps that come from our Lord and Savior. I thank God for those steps. The steps that have brought us here today. The ones that will bring us where we go tomorrow.

Day 8

Well today went well. I just got home a little bit ago from being with my mom. She is doing well and all the small things I was worried about happening never came to pass. She is resting well at home. I feel a little better at the end of the day with my sickness. The good thing about waiting around for my mom to have her procedure is that I had to sit around. I also have been feeling who ever is praying for me to get better soon. I know my husband is but maybe some of you out there too. It really does make a difference and I want you guys to know that.

My camera did not come today. I was wrong, it is going to be delivered tomorrow. Too bad tomorrow doesn't come quick enough. I tracked it on UPS and it is still is San Pablo, CA. Which at first I thought was San Pedro until I looked closer. And then I had to google it to find out that where in the world San Pablo is? For your information San Pablo is in the Bay Area of San Francisco.

Penelope did fantastic at her orientation. The teachers said she was really well behaved in class like she had all done it before. We were only there for an hour, so she wasn't really ready to go when it was time to go. She cried pretty bad when we had to leave. At least I know she will have a good time. Monday is when she officially starts I hope it comes quickly for her sake.

I almost finished the book "One in a million: Journey to your promised land" by Priscilla Shirer. It is so good. Each page has been a talk between God and I. It is a perfect read for this stage in my life. But I really want to quote you some part of it. I just have a hard time picking which one that gets the full affect of the whole book. There isn't anything I can take, but here is a good part I read recently.

"What situation are you in right now that's going to require a 'turning' if you're ever able to embrace the will of God for your life? What kind of changes is He asking for? And what do you expect will happen if you continue resisting this new direction for whatever the reason--inconvenience, fear of the unknown, distaste for the whole situation?

Paul speaks of how we are to 'run in such a way' not merely to survive the race but to run with purpose and persistence--to run 'that you may win' (I Cor 9:24). And the writer of Hebrews gives us specific instructions on how to do it (Heb. 12: 1-2):

* Turn--'let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us...'
* Set--'fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith...'
* Go--'let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.'

God was moving Isreal from one place to the next, preparing to put them into position where their hoped for destiny would be clearly within reach. But in order to go where God was leading them, they were being told to take dynamic action, to do things differently then they had before. They were being expected to believe that what He had called them to conquer next was worth every challenge. They were being instructed to march boldly out of safety into a new phase of following Him. Breaking barriers depended on it.

...Moments like these--times when God prepares us to go to the next leg in our journey--remind us why Sinai is so important. The intimacy God invites us to experience with HIm in our darkest, driest, dustiest seasons is not some isolated occurrence. It's not as though we're supposed to walk ahead merely remembering what it was like to be there when God met us in our pain and brokenness and reestablished our relationship. Like the Hebrews emerging from Sinai, we're not simply to march onward but to march onward with God. We're not to leave His presence behind us at the mountain. We will find ourselves lost and gasping for breath before we know it if we think we can move ahead without maintaining our continued connection with Him. The fellowship and faith garnered at the Mountain of God are designed to keep us from rocking off balance when the new possibilities (as well as the new obstacles) of entering our destiny begin to appear."

There is so much. For me to continue writing it in. I would have to write in everything. I hope what I have extracted out of the book has spoken to you and stirred you to grab a copy for yourself to dig through.

Journey

I am recently reading a book called "One in a Million: Journey to your promised land" by Priscilla Shirer. At least reading several pages a week when I am have a moment of careless activity where I can just put my nose in a book with nothing else I can accomplish at the moment. However every time I pick it up it resonates within me. In one of the passages she elaborated about how God had promised a land of milk and honey. She thanked God of course for the milk. One of the choice "drinks" that could sustain infants and toddlers. Something that has so much nutritional value in one tall glass. However she was glad that God didn't stop there. That He didn't leave the promise land to simply a description of "milk". Because there are a lot of joyous things that honey bring. Honey, though it does carry some nutritional value isn't taken for its supplement to the diet. But merely for the outlook of flavor or enjoyment. He promised both a sustainability and a enjoyment. Bounds. Overflowing milk and honey.

With that said, as I enter into this new phase of my life. New town. New job. New people. New church. I follow God's leading to a place that He has for me. That from this vantage point seems as if the land I am to enter is flowing with milk and honey. The idea of all it has to offer I am holding onto with both fists. But when it comes to the 12 spies that went into the promise land. I would like to think that I am like Joshua or Caleb, firmly planted and sure of that providence. No wave in my faith. However, I fear I am not that firm. I don't think I am cowering away like the other 10 (which, sadly, for the most part are known as the other 10 spies). But somewhere in the middle. Somewhere in the middle, moving forward but all the time scared of the unknown and then scared of losing the unknown. So here I come LORD. The wavering one of little faith. The one who seems too scared sometimes to move forward but too scared to move back. Let me have faith like Joshua and Caleb. Let me be sure. Make me remember that one more assurance you already gave me. The so many answered prayers. The clear lighted path I am still scared to trot upon. Let me move forward, without being scared of the unknown or scared of losing it. Not in the middle, but standing firm like the two did that got the promise land for all it was, flowing with milk and honey.

We're moving

(Above is one of the pictures from our annual family photos. But it seemed appropriate for the title of the blog.)

We are officially moving December 11th to the Fresno area (Central California). My parents have moved to the mountains above Fresno (Auberry) for about 4 years now, living there permanently for about 2. They offered to help us get into owning our own house up there. There the cost of a house is significantly cheaper then anything we could find in the south bay. After lots of prayer and people praying for us we decided to move forward and just see if something works out eventually. We debated waiting a year, waiting till spring, waiting till next summer. And in the end we decided to just put it out there, apply for some jobs and see what happens. It took me 2 months to find a job after being on maternity leave from Austyn and about 4 months to get a full-time position so Russ could go to school. But with this it was all a matter of a month. It all happened very quickly. But fairly early on it become apparent to us and several people around us that this WAS God. And I am not about to argue with God and His timing. So off we go.

Overall, this is so much more than I thought we would be able to do at this time in our lives. I didn't even imagine that we could buy a house right now. I know God is blessing us so abundantly. It's so much more then we could ever ask for ourselves. God is so good! We, of course, have always prayed down the road for God to let us buy a house and stuff of that sort. But it was far from do-able in the stage we were, in our minds at that time. When this came about. I was almost scared that my hopes would get ripped out from under me and I had to hold onto anything I could. As time has gone on I know that God is so providing this. I need to just stand and have faith. On our current trip up to the Fresno area we were trying to find an apartment (that we could stay in for 6 months to get our bearings on the city). Finally I was able to say on our trip up there that I KNEW God was going to provide our housing like He has provided in everything else. And sure enough within the first day of looking by early afternoon we were filling out the application of the apartment that we are going to move into in 2 1/2 weeks.

In the end I KNOW God has wonderful plans for us! Plans to prosper us, to give us a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). It is so wonderful to know and be faced with God's perfect present to us. To say that, "Yes! Our God is so GOOD." All of this at times feels so surreal. The pure idea of this happening to us blows my mind. I'm just so thankful that God cares so much about me, about my family, and about anyone who truly seeks Him.

Church Luau

Every year we have been wanting to go to the Church Luau. And each year there is some conflict change. But this year WE MADE IT! It was a blast. I can't wait to go next year. It was amazing to see people being baptized. It's been a while since I guess I have been to a baptism. And the way the church did it was so meaningful. Here are some pictures of the activities.

Penelope and Katherine dancing (doing the dance moves from VBS) to the worship music. I don't remember if the worship music was actually playing some of the songs that they played in VBS or if they were just adapting the movements.


Theresa (Katherine's mommy) and me. She very graciously let us sit with her and her family. She is also training to run a 5K! Go Theresa!


the pastors baptizing someone. It was definatly a cool experience to be apart of. I was so blessed.

Austyn's baby dedication

We dedicated Austyn at our church, August 15th. It was really nice. It is always good to stand before your friends and family and remember that they truly belong to God.

I have been thinking lately about Proverbs 22:6 ("Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" NIV.) I have been doing the yearly reading plan with our church and am now in the section where the people of Isreal and Judah are being taken into captivity from King Nebuchadnezzer. It seems like all of God's chosen people can't pull themselves together for one minute to be, well, God's chosen people. Surely there must have been one family that trained their child right. Whether there was or there wasn't the bible makes it quite clear that we all have a free will. And my darling children let me know their free will all the time. When it comes to the important thing as living for eternity in heaven, I can not rest alone on my parenting skills to train up the child the right way. I need to rest in God. I need to always submit my children to God. Knock down heaven's door on their behalf. It doesn't mean that the scripture in proverbs isn't true. It is still very true. We should hold tight onto the promise from God. But also realize the constant need for a savior with our free will beings.

We picked out a life verse for Austyn: Psalms 18:32-36 NLT

32God arms me with strength;
he has made my way safe.
33He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
leading me safely along the mountain heights.
34He prepares me for battle;
he strengthens me to draw a bow of bronze.
35You have given me the shield of your salvation.
Your right hand supports me;
your gentleness has made me great.
36You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping

I am looking forward to seeing this life verse alive in Austyn, since I have been able to clearly see God's direction in the life verse that was chosen for Penelope. After the baby dedication we had everyone over for lunch. Overall, it was a really nice day.

VBS

Right when the family was departing, VBS started at our church. We had a great time. This was mine and Penelope's second year, and Austyn's first. Penelope really got into it this year. We even got her the t-shirt and the worship CD which she likes to sing in the car. I helped out as the nurse. This is the second year that they have had a nurse and boy was there a change. This year there was a lot more "activity" for the on duty nurse. Next year I am defiantly going to have to organize and make a real "first-aid kit".

The theme this year was about Joseph from the book of Genesis. Most of the crew dresses up in full outfits. Each year I jokingly pick out which outfit I would want to wear and which one I wouldn't so much. LOL. But I am perfectly fine in my VBS t-shirt.

a steady hand

Everything that has been happening in Haiti is so sad. And for anyone who is over there I sure hope you feel our prayers. Our church supports an orphanage over there called Child Hope International. And I also had an instructor I was very close with in College who was born and raised in Haiti and has her whole family over there at the North Haiti Christian University. If you want to do more please contact either one of these resources. But sometimes I know that you feel like it just isn't enough. That whatever you pray or do is not enough. That is NOT true. I have seen God come through. Don't give up people!

Here are some quotes from the Child Hope Orphanage. I hope the Bill and Sue don't mind me taking pieces of your posts to show God's mighty hand in the praise reports. Don't forget to pray people!

We have been blessed with steady flow of nurses, local doctors and others that have assisted us. And, of course, Brooke and Ashley have been working very hard. Also, many of the MDL kids are putting in a lot of time to care for the injured. But, praise God, no injuries to the kids have occured outside of Daphne who had a wall fall on her and is currently in traction awaiting treatment by a pediatric surgeon due to a broken leg.

I am crying as I type this because we have been so blessed to have everyone here during this time. God is good, always, and His ways are perfect even when we don't have all of the answers.

We also have our dear brothers and sisters from Mission Viejo Christian Church. They have been so phenomenal and supportive. They've jumped right in to help where there is need-no questions asked. A zillion thanks to them and to the people back home that helped send them to us.

We were blessed with a great doctor who showed up to help. He is an orthopedic surgeon. He and his wife lost their home when it collapsed. He lives in our neighborhood and he drove by and saw what was going on at our place and jumped right in. He will be casting little Daph's leg today, Lord willing.

Everyone has pulled together so amazingly well, working endlessly. It is truly Jesus Himself, sustaining us.

Three people accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior last night. Praise Jesus!

The Mission Viejo team has been remarkable and an unbelievable Godsend.

The MDL kids are doing remarkably well

We closed the clinic and said we were unable to help any new people. Someone told me the CNN wanted an interview. We thought if we could get the word out, maybe one of the relief organizations here might hear about our dilemma and find a way to get us supplies. i waited on hold for about 30-45minutes with CNN and they ended up postponing the interview. By the time i made it back to the clinic our doors were open and they were receiving new patients. When i asked what happened, they said an SUV full of Haitian doctors and nurses arrived with supplies. i guess God wants us to stay open -- at least for another day or two (which is how long the supplies may last). Praise God!!!

We got an influx of Haitian doctors and nurses show up to help us. Much needed meds arrived yesterday (right after we'd officially closed the doors to dozens of people waiting outside). We were running out, and then the supplies arrived. Amazing timing, as always.

Daphne finally got her cast yesterday.

People are praying-everywhere.

I haven't seen people pull together like this, EVER. I have been blessed to see what I've seen.

We want to say a very special thank you to those of you in the States helping us coordinate in a way we could never do from here. People like Lucas and Alicia Simmons, the Beck Family, the Bohlingers and so many others that are blogging, Facebooking, Tweeting and whatever else is necessary to help the efforts out hear. Most importantly, thanks for those that are praying and staying on their needs. Haiti was shaken up, not just physically but spiritually. And we need to continually pray that hearts and souls will find Christ through all this.

Our faithful God continues to sustain us and keep us moving forward. Please make it a point to pray daily for all of us here – especially those on the front lines in the triage. We thank you beyond words for all your love, encouragement and prayers. God bless.

All our staff has been amazing. I cannot begin to name all the dedicated missionaries, employees and MDL kids that are sacrificing under such duress to help. I am humbled be their dedication and hearts.

The Haitian people are incredible. They have been very strong, peaceful and completely cooperative with us under a very difficult situation.

Praise God, no patients have passed away.

Friends from the DR have been driving in food shipments of whatever they can find.

Thank you, Jesus, that we can still chuckle in light of such overwhelming circumstances. The joy of the Lord is truly our strength!

UN structural engineers came and inspected all our buildings and gave thumbs to the kids returning to live in the homes.

This has been an absolute blessing and so has been our med team that has faithfully manned the unit since hour one. Hundreds came through. Many lives were saved. All left alive. Amputations occurred. Bones were set. Wounds stitched. God sent doctors, nurses and others to keep this going non-stop 24/7 since Tuesday.

Many have selflessly volunteered to come. Over one hundred. Thank you. We are in the process of filtering through your emails and compiling teams based on priorities.

1:30pm Hurray! The American's are here! Army of L.A. Search and Rescue fireman showed up at our front door.

Right as I was writing “Still no supplies” an army of Los Angeles Search and Rescue Firemen showed up at my front door. Brian Wells, the chief of the team goes to my sending church – King’s Harbor. He just wanted to make sure we were alright and to let us know that we are not forgotten.

Thank you, Lord, that your hand was upon our little make-shift clinic -- that lives were saved and that no one died in our care. Thank you for sending doctors, nurses and others to help make it happen. You are a great and awesome God!

We are relocating our community clinic to the new home and will start-up regular hours again soon.

Today, we received our first rain since the earthquake. It came after we closed our outdoor clinic and after most of the kids’ mattresses were moved indoors. Again, God shows His presence.

A group of our boys who had, just a few days before the quake, went on a prayer and fasting up in the mountains shared that they had just prayed for the safety and well-being of the kids at the orphanage and for God to demonstrate His presence. Wow! Was that prayer ever answered! Their faith humbles me.

Great news – Marval was able to purchase 100 gallons of diesel today. What a miracle! Now we are on the hunt for food. Fritz purchased one large sack of beans and 7 small bags of rice. Praise the Lord! We feel like we have this little village where we send out our best hunters and wait. When they return with their prize we all celebrate! .


With my professor that had her family in Haiti. I know most of her family but one niece was accounted for. I haven't heard recently if they have found her. But it is amazing that God kept the people safe that are known to be safe.

If you need to know what to pray for look here: for recent updates. But the latest please pray for protection for the Orphanage and everyone that works there.

Here are some painting I have of Haiti from a missions trip I took.

sometimes I need the bad examples

God has been working on perfection in my life. No not that He is trying to get me to move to perfection, just the opposite in fact. Is that odd? Actually perfect is not something I would call myself. But there is a part of myself that holds to a standard. And that standard I transfer to other people too. An expectation that I want myself and other people in my life to measure up to. And when I or others don't hold to the standard that I have set for them I'm horribly upset. How could they? I would never. But in fact I do and I am hypocritical for it.

I've been going through this study about the women in the bible. Let's take Eve (Genesis 2:18-3:24). God made her to fit Adam perfectly. She was his ideal wife crafted to be the first women made. Everyone knows where she feel short, in eating of the apple. But think of her as a mother. Think of the pressure she had knowing that the sin she caused, from eating the apple, brought sin to her children to the point where one of her children (Cain) killed another child (Abel) (Genesis 4:8-16). Or let's take Sarah, she not only laughed behind God's back while He was telling of the miraculous way He was going to bless her but she lied about it when confronted (Genesis 18:1-15). Or Rebekah, the special women who was chosen for Sarah and Abraham's son, Issac. Rebekah was going to continue the promises that God had called on their heritage. She was directed to their family through prayer and God pointed straight to her(Genesis 24:1-28, 58-67). But their marriage was not perfect. In fact there is proof that they lived very disconnected. As quoted:

"In the past, sorrow regarding their children had caused the parents to pray. Hadn't Rebekah's pregnancy been a result of Issac's intercession? And hadn't Rebekah sought God when she realized to her surprise that the two children were fighting with one another even during her pregnancy? It is interesting to note that in both cases of praying only one parent is mentioned. Is this because of the brevity of the Scripture story? Or were they already getting into the habit of not sharing their thoughts with one another? Had the spry, intelligent Rebekah ever really loved the weak Isaac, who was much older? Had Isaac ever taken the role to win her love? Was their intense love for their sons an escape to replace the disunity of their own hearts? Or were they driven apart because they had attributed different values to the Word of God? A marriage, which God compares with the bond between Christ and His Church, can only be happy if the partners function together (Her name is Woman, By: G. Karssen, pg.50-51."

All these women had horribly fallen short. Some of them in ways I pray that I will never fall short in. I pray that I will never see my children hate each other, be in great disunity with my husband, laugh at God as He promises to do a huge blessing in my life. But still Sarah is named in the great examples of faith in Hebrews (11:11). Rahab, a prostitue, that in a moment made a right decision at the right time, to stand with God's people, is named in the same great examples of faith (Joshua 2:1-21, 6:22-25, Hebrews 11:31).

But in fact, I can do all those things. And have probably come rather close to doing each one of those things in my heart. It's the humbleness that I have learned that draws us closer to God. And it is our faith in God that brings us to righteousness. Sometimes I would so much rather earn righteousness by doing right things. Can't I just be the best mom, wife, always have it together, always say the right things. You know, be all things to all men. No God says it is by faith, by our hope in things we can't see happening. "So you see, it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him (Hebrews 11:6)."

So this I thank God for. I thank God for the imperfect examples where I can see God still works through them, so He must be able to still work through me. I'm glad I don't have the standard to get everything right. But instead to keep looking to Christ. I don't think I have gotten that before this moment. Looking to Christ doesn't always mean striving to be righteous. That is something I will never be able to obtain until I get to heaven. But looking to Christ is realizing my imperfection. Realizing how much I need Him. Realizing that He could still use me. And being humble with myself and others. They are not going to be perfect either. They need Him as much as I do.

A piece of covenant for you

While Russell was helping me carry in the groceries he saw a double rainbow. By the time it took me to throw on shoes and get the baby and then go back for the camera the double rainbow was gone. But the beauty of the covenant is still there with this one. Here's some pictures. The other rainbow was right outside the one you see.





Hope you have a great rainy day.

In Christ Alone

I stumbled upon this and I thought it was really cool. So I just thought I would share it.