B & B continued...

In the previous post I mentioned that a side effect of the baby having thrush is that she has pain during latching on and can be rather fussy and pulls off frequently. The problem is that we haven't been able to do a single feeding today without having to end the feeding with just giving her my pumped breast milk in a bottle. I find it hard to give myself the excuse to cause her more pain just so that I can feed her by the breast instead of the bottle. So starting tonight I plan on giving her the bottle of my milk instead of the breast. I'm a little worried about that, first I am scared that it will be hard for me to feed her and pump to maintain my supply every three hours by myself. It was quiet hard when I was only doing it once a day to start my supply. So depending on how long this might have to go on I'm worried about drying out. The other problem is that she might have additional reasons for not wanting me. She might have nipple confusion--where they realize it is easier to feed off a bottle and don't want to work at expressing milk from the breast. If that is the case there isn't going to be any turning back. This will be the last time that I would have naturally breastfeed my little girl. I really tried to do everything right, at the right time, so it saddens me to think this--that she might not want mommy anymore.

In it all, I can't excuse myself to cause her pain because of my set backs. Her being feed is not about me; it's about her. She needs what is best for her, and she needs to be as comfortable as possible. She doesn't need me to give her more pain due to my insecurities. Plus I think of two very encouraging sayings. One: Worry is just a payment for a debt you do not owe. And the Second: The opposite of worry is prayer. So, God knows my heart. He knows what is best. I'll let Him handle it, because He surely can.

Just Say No

Well in the grand scheam of things I am really blessed to have such a great little daughter. However in looking back at everything I have had a little bit of a problem that seems to be coming up consistently. During my labor I had internal monitoring. Basically they attached a probe to her head to monitor her heart rate and my contractions. The reason they did this was that they were not getting accurate contractions on the monitor. Though it did help in looking closer at her because I had meconium in my water (when my water broke there was evidence that she pooped inside). She was born on a Thursday night and I was discharged on Saturday with her from the hospital. By Monday I had noticed a bump on the back side of her head, about the size of a big pimple on my face. And I scheduled a normal wellness doctors appointment for Wednesday. By Wednesday, right before the doctors appointment, I noticed the bump developed a white head. The doctor ruled that it was an abcess infection. And we started on 10 days of Keflex (Cephalosporin) antibiotics three times a day. We also had to apply hot compresses to the area for 10 minutes every 3-4 hours. This got a little tiring especially in the middle of the night. She did really well and the infection cleared up without her ever developing a fever, or getting really sick.

However, about two weeks after finishing the antibiotics I noticed she was getting white patches on the inside of her cheeks. This is thrush, kind of like a yeast infection that is inside the mouth from antibiotics that kill both the bad bacteria and the good bacteria. I called her Pediatrician and she recommended that I just keep an eye on it for a couple of days and see if it goes away on its own before we get started on more medicine. This is where I became a bad mom. : ( The thing is as a nurse, I should have known better. The white spots stayed the same. I looked at her tounge, her gums, the roof of her mouth. But I didn't see the same white spots. I did start noticing the roof of her mouth started getting generally whiter. She did seem gassier. And near the end she was starting to get really fussy nursing. Oh, and this whole time she has had a horrible diaper rash that dispite everything I could think of was not going away (bathing her almost every day, giving her naked time, putting tons of diaper cream on, changing diaper very frequently). However, I let it go for a whole week before a friend recommended I read a site called www.kellymom.com. Where I read the symptoms of thrush with a baby: diaper rash that does not respond to typical rash ointments; creamy white patches that cannot be wiped off on the inside of the mouth, along the inside of the gums, inside of the cheeks, roof of mouth, throat, or tongue; a shiny or "mother of pearl" look on the inside of the mouth
breast refusal, pulling off breast, or a reluctance to nurse due to mouth soreness
repeated clicking during nursing; excessive gassiness due to the yeast's invasion of the gut. She had all the symptoms except the clcking during nursing. At this point I looked at my daughter who was whimpering during her sleep due to the discomfort and felt horrible. She looked like such a pretty healthy little girl, I really didn't want to admit she was sick with yet something else.

So now we have 4 different treatments we are giving her bottom, have her in cloth diapers at night, and giving her hydrogen peroxide mixture and nystatin swabs in her mouth. Oh and plus I got to treat my nipples with cream, and steralize every thing that goes in her mouth every day to not spread the infection. Bottom line just say no to internal monitoring if it is not completely necessary. I know I am sure going to next time. Only 3-5% of the population develop an infection like Penelope did from the monitor, but this is way too frustrating. Don't do it unless it is required, ,just say no.

My sis

I first want to say that I am very proud of my sister, Cherrella, who is going to be taking a expensive leap of faith in extending her education. She is starting Monday at Woodbury University. Woodbury University was founded in 1884 and is located in Burbank, Ca. Her major is in Architecture and she minoring in Art History. The University has one of the only accredited Architecture programs in the area. The school emphasises that area so much that 2/3 of the students major in Art or Architecture.

Cherrella is also going to be turning a year older on August 29th. Happy Birthday!

everyone's doing it

At the g diaper yahoo group most got together and posted their location on a map. Take a look....http://www.frappr.com/gdiapers

One Month Old!

Penelope is going to be one month old tomorrow! Wow, time really went fast. She has grown so much from the first day at the hospital. Here are, of course, some more cute picutres of her. And so far so good with the bottle and breast combination. I'm not going to say there is definatly going to be any problems until we have made it to one week. But no problems thus far.

Baba & booby

Today is the day that I have been looking forward to for a while. But right now I'm starting to regret that it is here. At our breastfeeding class the lactation consultant said the best time to introduce the bottle is 4 weeks old. I am planning on pumping breast milk and having that fed to her in a bottle when I go back to work. There are two problem sometimes when you incorporate breast and bottle. The first one is "nipple confusion" this is when the baby prefers the bottle because it is easier to retrieve milk out of then the breast. The other is when they won't take the bottle at all. The later problem is usually when it is introduced with an older baby. So my risk is that when I introducing the bottle tonight she won't want me any more. :( I never really felt like I was bonding with the breastfeeding. Partly I think because she always falls asleep while I'm trying to feed her. But when I think these might be the last day her and I can do this together, I'm sad. It was going to be nice to not be on a 3 hour time clock with feedings, but I hope we can still have these bonding moments.

everyone loves her

We had a couple of wonderful visits for Aunt Corky (Penelope's Great Aunt from Russell's maternal side of the family) and Grandpa Darty and "Grandma Lama" (Penelope's Great grandparents from Jennifer's paternal side). Here are some of the pictures of the visit.

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Above are pictures with Grandma Pat, Aunt Corky, Matthew, and Granna.

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Above are pictures with Grandma Lama, and Grandpa Darty.

rub dub

Rub dub for the babies first bath. Thought I show of the adorable pictures we have of her during this special time.

Oh, and thank you all for your prayers. Her little infection is healed and she is doing all better. :) Plus, the latest doctors appointment she weighed in at 8 lbs 13 ozs at 2 weeks old. Which is great considering her birth weight is 7 lbs 15 oz.