Sunday, December 16, 2012

Baby Jesus and Santa

Okay, I'm gonna start at the beginning....

Russell was raised in a loving Christian home. His parents decided early on no Santa, no Easter bunny, nothing. I was raised in a loving home but not in the church. My parents told us the whole Santa thing, until we found out on our own. They would have gifts from "Santa" (interestingly enough in my mother's hand writing).  Russell's brother and his family decided to continue the tradition, no Santa.  I remember learning about this when Russell and I were dating.  It didn't go over well with me the first time.  Hey, my favorite movie is "Miracle on 34th St".  Anyways, Russell and I did talk about it before we got married and we both agreed that we were ok with Santa.  Also because it would help include my family more.  In addition, as I saw Russell's brothers children grew up each one of the kids while entering public school struggled a lot with Santa.  At moments they would believe, because it was pushed so much at school.  But the struggle at home where it was reinforced that it's not real.  The look on the mom's face.  The look on the kids face.

So that brings me to how we did our kids.  I was okay with my kids knowing about Santa.  Like I said it was a way of tying in my family with the holiday.  But I always wanted Santa to be the runner-up.  I wanted Jesus to be the reason for the season.  I wanted Jesus to be more real to them than Santa is.  So we have decided to do some things and not to do others.  To have lots of talks.  To answer questions slightly differently.  But we still have fun with Santa.  But that brings us to now.  My daughter entered Kindergarten.  Wow, there is a lot of Santa push.  You would think some over zealous, doesn't have enough to do person (almost said lawyer, but I'll play nice) would claim separation of church and state.  After all, Santa is still celebrating Christmas.

Also, one of our normal family functions, "Back to Bethlehem":  Where a whole church changes their land into the city of Bethlehem.  There are people dressed the part walking around.  Everyone is in uniform.  Roman soldiers will yell at you if you look at them wrong.  Jewish teachers are in the corner teaching from the Torah.   And there is Joseph, Mary, and a real life baby in a barn that you can go see.  I loved taking the kids there, however; I am having a hard time finding one around.  There is one where we live but it is happening when we are going to be out of town.  When we go visit family they already ended.  Unless anyone knows of one?  Please.  That was my way of making Jesus more real.  Seeing Jesus' birth,  walking through Bethlehem. 

It's harder for Russell too.  He is having a hard time answering Penelope's questions about Santa.  I like to answer things like,  "Well, honey, he is as real as you want him to be."  Or something like that.  And at the end I always ask her, "What are we really celebrating?" and Penelope knows to answer "Jesus' birthday". 

Plus now that she is getting older there are some things that she can do now....write a letter to santa, sit on Santa's lap (we did these for the first time this year).  I was thinking about doing 'The Elf on the Shelf'.  For people who don't know.  It's a book and a toy elf.  You read the book, which has something to say about this elf that is really real and is going to sit up on a shelf and watches to make sure the kid is good or bad to tell Santa.  The parent without the kids knowing moves the elf occasionally so the kid really thinks that maybe it is real.  I told a friend about it.  Said I was thinking about it because I wanted the extra assistance/ leverage in having proper behavior.  She said it reminder her a lot about idols in foreign lands.  An inanimate object that is "real" and can pass "judgment" on you.  My response was, "Say no more.  Not gonna do that.  Don't want to miss with that".  I'm not condemning you for doing it.  I just couldn't after making that connection.  (That friend also does no Santa with her kids). 

We don't do presents from Santa.  We haven't yet done cookies and milk for Santa.  Never left a carrot for the reindeer.  Presents use to sit under the Christmas tree as I bought and wrapped them until the kids started getting into them.  Now they only come out right before hand.  I like the cartoon character of Santa.  I like the make-believe-ness.  Encouraging him being real, as much as Mickey Mouse is while you are at Disneyland (Hey, we are really big Disney fans.)  And somehow it has slipped away from that.  Is it a phase that I cannot completely control?  Is there a different direction I should be going in?  I'm not about to tell my daughter, "Sorry honey.  But really, Santa isn't real.  It's just a fake story."

FYI I'm not looking forward to Christmas with the older cousins who know very well there is no Santa and my daughter enthralled with him right now. 

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3 comments:

Nicky Stade said...

I hope you survived Christmas! Sounds like you were stressed about it a little. LOL For the record, I have the same beliefs that you do--Santa isn't evil. It was never that important to me, and since how his family treated Santa meant a lot to my husband, we just choose to go with that. We didn't yell at our kids if they asked questions about it or anything. We just simply explained that the legend of Santa is based on St. Nick and the good he did for orphaned children. We explained that people like to pass that on and it grew into what we know as Santa. We watch (and own) quite a few Santa movies, including the newer Miracle on 34th St. We just chose to be honest with our kids from the get-go...and on the flip side of that coin, we honestly told them that a lot of children believe he is real, so DON'T RUIN IT FOR THEM. (That is when you'll see me give dirty looks...if they try to ruin it for ones that are littler than them.) Trust me, my kids have plenty of fun and get plenty of gifts...just from their loved ones. And as big Disney fans, we have used that to help our case--We don't banish Mickey Mouse just because he isn't Jesus! LOL We also don't judge others who choose to teach their kids something different than us.

Jenny said...

It was great seeing you guys. I had a great time. And when it all boiled down it was fine. There were never any problems with the kiddos. All that worrying for nothing.

Jenny said...

It was great seeing you guys. I had a great time. And when it all boiled down it was fine. There were never any problems with the kiddos. All that worrying for nothing.