Lessen

Overall Austyn is doing better (now a week from the event). He started walking Tuesday night. He walks with a limp and he still crawls from time to time. He still complains of the pain and so we give him some ibuprofen when he does, which ends up being about 2 times a day. His foot is very tender, or at lease he treats it so. And whenever he bumps it or it gets jolted somehow he ends up in tears. This sprain will take a while to heal, I guess. So continue to pray that all the ligaments and muscles go back into place and are healed.

Penelope who was having some problems with school. Mostly circulating around not liking school, not wanting to practice letters, numbers, words, math, and wanting to just have fun with her friends. In which my mother said, "I can understand that". Of which I responded "Well I don't! She needs to love school. Its a great thing to be able to learn. She should enjoy it." God help me for pairing this daughter with this mother. Anyways she started a kind of tutoring for after school, which they call 'intervention' where she gets one on one attention to go over writing and phonics. The morning of she was fighting with us about getting ready as usual and telling us how much she "hates" school. At dinner that evening she proclaimed, "I love school! I love intervention." Russell and I sat there shocked for a moment before we both cheered. It isn't a complete 180 degree turn around but she is doing better which is a relief. It was getting to the point that I didn't know what else to do. How do you teach a little girl who refuses to be taught? It's not like I was trying to teach her to be nice to her friend or share her toys. I'm trying to get her to do repetitive tasks to learn her sight words or addition and subtraction. She is defiantly my free spirited child.

I recently finished reading a book a friend let me borrow titled 'Rebekah: Women of Genesis' by Orson Scott Card.  It is a fictional novel based on the biblical character Rebekah, the wife of Isaac.  It was so good.  Quite a page turner.  I had only read one fiction novel based on a biblical character and that was about Prophet Jeremiah titled 'He who Wept' by Thom Lemmons.  It was way too much in his head all the time that it was hard for me to read. But I really like this one and related to the main character, Rebekah, very easily.

It did get me thinking about a certain topic.  There is that moment in Rebekah's life (as a the character in the novel) that she is young and adventurous and ready to do great things for the Kingdom.  It brought me back to my own moment.  You know that moment....That moment where you are in your teens, or young adult.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  And think how you want to make a difference somehow.  But it is only by the pass of time that this idea flutters away.  Real life happens and the goings of everyday only make for normal and not world changing.

I remember this desire early on.  I didn't quite know what I wanted to do but I wanted to do something big. After I completed nursing school, I got married, and I felt my life can begin.  I could go out and be.  I loved my job.  Loved that I worked at one of the best hospitals in the United States.  And then I got pregnant.  My job didn't make exceptions for my growing baby.  Didn't seem to like the set backs that I was no longer wanting to do heavy lifting.  When returning back to work after having my daughter, people got upset at me for pumping privately at work during my breaks.  It went all the way up to management and they sided that I may be requesting too much to get that opportunity to feed my baby.  I knew what they were pressuring me was against California law.  I knew I could fight it.  Have this be my big moment of what I stood for.  But I didn't want to be known for forcing breastfeeding.  Either that or ended up just being a coward after all.  I switched jobs to closer to home, a local community hospital that had a more family friendly atmosphere.  More women and moms who know what it was like to have other commitments besides work.  And I gave up the idea of being a world changer.  I loved that job, but I didn't love the stress that it started giving me and it wasn't worth it.  Shortly after that was when my desire to stay home came.  No maybe not.  I remember going back to work in the first place after having my daughter and not wanting to leave her.  I never cried, but I worried constantly.  Would call my mother-in-law during every break to see if she was still okay.  Only with my son did my anxieties lessen.

But Rebekah stirred in me the desire to do some life changing thing.  Only I'm not holding onto the dead sea scrolls.  I can't birth another Jesus to save all mankind.  I just continue in my ordinary.  I am okay with my ordinary.  In fact I love the life Russell and I have chosen to live so far.  I am happy for the choices we have made.  But part of me, in the deepest part, still wants to do something big.  Maybe someday. 

 

By a foot

Update on Austyn:

Austyn seems to be having a slow recovery, either that or there is something else wrong. Again, there doesn't seem to be anything outwardly wrong with his foot or leg. He has a couple of light bruises that came up around his shin bone and his foot is a little bit swollen. He still isn't walking on his foot. He complains of the pain almost constantly. He wakes up in the middle of the night crying about the pain. But I am hoping today we have turned a corner. (**I hope.) We got shoes on his feet today! Yay! Because before if we touched his foot with even the lightest touch he would cry in pain. He stood on his foot for a second and he seems to be a little bit more mobile (crawling around the house). We went to church and he wasn't whining the whole time! So today was pretty good for him. However I keep thinking if I should be doing something more.

Yesterday we wrapped his foot with a ace wrap to see if that would help give him extra support. But one of the times he woke up crying in the middle of the night last night I took it off. Thinking maybe it was too tight and he needed the break. Since he has been a little better today I haven't put it back on. We have done the ice and elevate thing but it doesn't seem like it is doing much. The doctor recommended ibuprofen because the anti-inflammatory part of the medicine would help with the injury. However, because he was in so much pain we started giving him Tylenol in between doses. He hates getting the Tylenol and screams as much from the medicine as he does from the pain. Plus it just doesn't seem like it helped his pain that much. By yesterday afternoon it just didn't seem worth it.

Currently he is getting a much needed nap.  He got his ibuprofen at 11.  He fell asleep on our way home from church so he didn't get lunch.  So by the time he wakes up he will probably be hungry and in pain.  The urgent care doctor said that when the Radiologist comes in on Monday they will let me know if they see something broken that he didn't see.  Also the doctor said that if he isn't walking on it by Tuesday we should take him back.  I think I might just take him into seeing his Pediatrician anyways.  I mean if you or I had sprained our ankle that bad we would have gotten pain medication, some kind of foot support, and crutches, right?

I know I have a lot more years of little boy tumbling owies, especially with the track record my husband had as a boy.  However it's all feeling a little bit overwhelming.  Plus Penelope is having some difficulties at school (more on that in a separate post coming soon). There are some changes coming to our house in other aspects.  I just feel spent, you know?  It's the stress level I guess.  I know I need to relax.  Just do what I can.  Try not to worry about it.  Give it to God.  But it just doesn't seem plausible at this time.  I'm worried about my kids.   Worried that I'm some how messing up but not knowing how to change it.

Pray for Austyn, Penelope, and Russ & I.  Pray that God will take control of the situations that are surrounding us.  It is only through Him that makes things better. 

New Update:  Austyn woke up happy, crawling around the house.  Still not walking but not crying is a significant improvement.  Doing my woman's bible study homework I read: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7.  I have read this scripture many times but have always viewed it as a promise from God.  But it is two sided.  And God tells me what is required of me:  Prayer, Petition, and Thanksgiving.  These things I need to do to get that oneness of God that brings me peace.  I love that: Prayer, Petition, and Thanksgiving. 

 

an extra cookie type of day

Today ended up being quite a crazy day. It didn't start that way. I had a full day of stuff to get done, which is not abnormal. But today I had more of a "me" centered day planned. I had a hair appointment to get a new do, I had a dermatologist appointment to get some cream for my face, and I was going to run to target to pick up some beautician toiletries that I had run out of. Simple enough, right?

Well in between getting my hair done and my doctors appointment; Russ, the kids, and I got an opportunity to meet some friends at the park and have all the kids play. When we got there we played a little bit with the kids. I started going down the slides with the kids in my lap. After going down several times I got use to how quickly we went down. I went down one slide with Austyn on my lap. This slide went down straight but had a slight curve to the right at the end. Just as we were getting to the the curve, Austyn stuck his leg out. I saw it bend in a way that wasn't natural. It was such a horrible site to see. My automatic response was to quickly straighten it back. But instantly Austyn started crying and I called Russell to come quick. We checked his foot, leg, and ankle and didn't see anything out of place. It took a while for Austyn to finally settle down. Even then he kept saying his foot hurt.  But he wouldn't stand on it.  We decided to end our time at the park and go on home. At home we elevated his leg, gave him an ice pack, some Tylenol and then set him up with his favorite movie and some snacks and juice. With him calm and things as good as can be I went off to my doctors appointment. After it was over I called Russ to see how things were going. Penelope was getting antsy. Austyn still wasn't standing on his leg. Russ had to hold him up to go to the potty, which then lead to many tears from him for messing with his leg. I came home and took Austyn off to a close urgent care that had xray equipment. The place was full of patients. And in the mean time Austyn (my about 40 lbs son) needs to be carried everywhere.

A little over a hour into waiting we were playing games on my phone with Austyn on my lap. He was laughing and having a good old time. I stated out loud, "no one is going to believe that you have any problems. They will all think that his mommy is just over-reacting".   Just then, I repositioned him and must have bumped his foot and tear came flowing again.  I tried to calm him down but he wouldn't stop crying.  I went  out to the hallway to pace with him to see if I could get him to calm down.  He started then saying "I walk. I walk".  So I would try to put him down but he wouldn't try to stand.  And then he would cry.  I set him down on a counter real quick to reposition my purse and then realized he had peed his pants.  My poor boy.  He was so upset.  All that extra juice for not feeling well wasn't helping with this bathroom situation we are now in.  I had to call Russ to come and bring a change of pants.  The staff at urgent care brought me a disposable bed pad and a full adult size gown.  Ah, well.....  Russell showed up some time later and he was able to change into dry clothes.

Another 30-45 minutes later we finally got called back.  Please God, let us not get sick from all the people who have a flu in the urgent care waiting room.  Finally.   We got some x-rays done.  I made balloon gloves for Austyn and now Penelope who are both bored in the room.  Results:  no fracture!  Thank GOD!  When the Radiologist gets there on Monday he will have another look at it to be sure that there is no break.  But it is most likely a sprain.  The doctor informed me that at this age a lot of the bone at the top of his foot is still cartilage and won't show up on a x-ray.  So if he still isn't able to walk on it by Tuesday we have to go back to the doctor.  Don't try to force him to walk on it.  Switch to ibuprofen and wait. 

My poor little boy.  We grabbed dinner and a couple extra cookies.  And then turned back on Austyn's favorite movie.  He was crashed out before it was even half way over.  But you see, mommy needs that extra cookie sometime. 

 

God bless the grumpy old lady

I have been neglecting my blog, which is of course obvious. One of the biggest reasons is I wasn't quite sure what to blog about. Social networking has exploded, and the avenue that I use the most is Facebook. So my thoughts, my pictures, my stories have gone to Facebook. However, my sister-in-law, Nicky, has recently re-inspired her blog by taking questions from a blog journal. Although it is interesting and I have been reading them. I don't want to copy it. Previous to my Facebook craze and purchase of a smart phone I use to feel like I entertained my blog followers through pictures. However I post most of them on Facebook. So I have decided, despite myself, that I am going to tell stories of our family or describe thoughts in my life. Things that are just too long to post in the limited character status update. So I am starting with a story that I have told a couple of people. One I hope you find as entertaining as I have been replaying it.

 Emily, my neice, came up to visit us over the winter break. While she was up we decided to go up to Shaver Lake and see the snow. We were a little worried the day of because there was a "30% chance of percepitation" (meaning snow) and we have a minivan. We do not own chains. And we are from southern California.  So to say we have a limited experience driving in the snow would put it mildly. Hey, where we are from they say that we don't even know how to drive in the rain. Of course not us directly. :-) Anyways, it was agreed that we would go to the snow but if it started "snowing" or if it got unsafe we would come home. We got there no problem. Went to a snow bank by the lake and played until the kids complained about the coldness and their tummies were grumbling. We decided to then go back into town and eat at one of the local diners. We stopped at the first one we saw and Russ parked into an available parking spot. The available parking had snow at the end and was on a decline. Russ came to a stop just as we heard the snow crunch beneath the front tires.  We both looked at each other and then looked in front.  And then just around the corner but visual from our new parking spot was a clean parking spot.  One that didn't have snow.  We decided right away to move the car into the obviously better spot.  Russ put the car into reverse, stepped on the gas, and then nothing....The engine revved, the wheels turned but we were not moving.  Yep, we got stuck despite our best intentions. 

We sat there for a second.  Russ trying again to see if doing the same actions might perhaps provide a different result.  However despite Russ' best endeavors just putting the car in and out of drive wasn't getting us anywhere.  We both got out of the car to take a better look at the situation.  Lo and behold we were in a frozen pickle.   First we tried kicking out the snow that had built up around the tire.  Free the tire.  Now try again, step on the gas.  Nothing.  Okay, let me try again.  Free the tire.  Surely that will be enough.  Now try again, honey.  Step on it.  Nope, that didn't work.

Well maybe we should just go eat.  I'm sure the diner could help us out too.  They would know what to do.  Just then Russ spotted a Cal Trans truck with a snow plow parked across the street.  Russ told me, "run over there and recruite his help".  The guy went to the back of his truck to get something that would help us.  As I started running back to the car.  A little frail old lady started yelling for my attention close to where we were parked.  I ran quickly over to the lady.  The lady couldn't have been more then 100 lbs soaking wet.  She had a nasal cannula hooked up to an oxygen tank she used as a cane.  She then put me in my place.  You see there were 3 stores in the parking lot.  A diner, a chimney sweeper, and her antique shop.  And I  was parked in front of the chimney sweeper.  I needed to move that car immediately. 

"We are actually trying right now, but we got stuck"
"I don't care, you need to move that car"
"Ya we are trying to move it.  Do you have anything maybe that could help us?"
"Do I look like I can help you!?"
"Well, I thought maybe you had a piece of wood or something."
"You need to move that car"

And on and on she went.  Bent on the idea that despite us actually working on moving the car because I haven't left her side she must repeat herself.  And so I went running from the Cal Trans guy, to our car, to the grumpy old lady who kept yelling for my attention.  Just for me to walk over there to have her tell me to move my car.  Can't you see I'm working on it.  It got to the point that she was so rude that it was almost comical.  It really wasn't hard to just polite say "yes ma'am, I'll get to it." because she was so irrational with her constant request.  We are literally doing everything we can.

The whole time the Cal Trans guy is walking back and forth from our cars with shovels of dirt for us to spread under the tires.  Then he had to help show Russ how to turn the wheel back and forth to get some friction.  All the time constant interruptions from the lady standing outside the antique shop.  Finally I got tired of walking over to her.  When she told me something that I couldn't quite hear from a distance I responded with my normal answer.   I  must have not responded in a way that made sense to her because I then heard her exclaim, "They must be from Fresno."  I just kept busy trying to unstuck our car.  But in my head I wanted to tell her, "Lady I can beat that, I'm from Los Angeles."  Eventually we unstuck the car and probably made that grumpy all lady very happy.  But of course by that time we got out of that parking spot the other parking spot was taken.  As we sat in the parking lot waiting for someone to pull out of a spot.  I turned to Russ and we decided that I should check to see if there was any room at the diner.  After all, it did look like a small diner.  Sure enough there was only 2 spots left at the bar and there was 5 of us.  So off we went to another diner. 

A saying my Grandpa had when referring to bad drivers was "dirty dog".  His wife would correct him with a smile saying "God bless the dirty dog".  And so it goes with this old lady.  "God bless the grumpy old lady".