sometimes I need the bad examples

God has been working on perfection in my life. No not that He is trying to get me to move to perfection, just the opposite in fact. Is that odd? Actually perfect is not something I would call myself. But there is a part of myself that holds to a standard. And that standard I transfer to other people too. An expectation that I want myself and other people in my life to measure up to. And when I or others don't hold to the standard that I have set for them I'm horribly upset. How could they? I would never. But in fact I do and I am hypocritical for it.

I've been going through this study about the women in the bible. Let's take Eve (Genesis 2:18-3:24). God made her to fit Adam perfectly. She was his ideal wife crafted to be the first women made. Everyone knows where she feel short, in eating of the apple. But think of her as a mother. Think of the pressure she had knowing that the sin she caused, from eating the apple, brought sin to her children to the point where one of her children (Cain) killed another child (Abel) (Genesis 4:8-16). Or let's take Sarah, she not only laughed behind God's back while He was telling of the miraculous way He was going to bless her but she lied about it when confronted (Genesis 18:1-15). Or Rebekah, the special women who was chosen for Sarah and Abraham's son, Issac. Rebekah was going to continue the promises that God had called on their heritage. She was directed to their family through prayer and God pointed straight to her(Genesis 24:1-28, 58-67). But their marriage was not perfect. In fact there is proof that they lived very disconnected. As quoted:

"In the past, sorrow regarding their children had caused the parents to pray. Hadn't Rebekah's pregnancy been a result of Issac's intercession? And hadn't Rebekah sought God when she realized to her surprise that the two children were fighting with one another even during her pregnancy? It is interesting to note that in both cases of praying only one parent is mentioned. Is this because of the brevity of the Scripture story? Or were they already getting into the habit of not sharing their thoughts with one another? Had the spry, intelligent Rebekah ever really loved the weak Isaac, who was much older? Had Isaac ever taken the role to win her love? Was their intense love for their sons an escape to replace the disunity of their own hearts? Or were they driven apart because they had attributed different values to the Word of God? A marriage, which God compares with the bond between Christ and His Church, can only be happy if the partners function together (Her name is Woman, By: G. Karssen, pg.50-51."

All these women had horribly fallen short. Some of them in ways I pray that I will never fall short in. I pray that I will never see my children hate each other, be in great disunity with my husband, laugh at God as He promises to do a huge blessing in my life. But still Sarah is named in the great examples of faith in Hebrews (11:11). Rahab, a prostitue, that in a moment made a right decision at the right time, to stand with God's people, is named in the same great examples of faith (Joshua 2:1-21, 6:22-25, Hebrews 11:31).

But in fact, I can do all those things. And have probably come rather close to doing each one of those things in my heart. It's the humbleness that I have learned that draws us closer to God. And it is our faith in God that brings us to righteousness. Sometimes I would so much rather earn righteousness by doing right things. Can't I just be the best mom, wife, always have it together, always say the right things. You know, be all things to all men. No God says it is by faith, by our hope in things we can't see happening. "So you see, it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him (Hebrews 11:6)."

So this I thank God for. I thank God for the imperfect examples where I can see God still works through them, so He must be able to still work through me. I'm glad I don't have the standard to get everything right. But instead to keep looking to Christ. I don't think I have gotten that before this moment. Looking to Christ doesn't always mean striving to be righteous. That is something I will never be able to obtain until I get to heaven. But looking to Christ is realizing my imperfection. Realizing how much I need Him. Realizing that He could still use me. And being humble with myself and others. They are not going to be perfect either. They need Him as much as I do.